|
Revolution? Da. Sexual? Nyet.
As always, sex toys are a tough sell in Russia. “We have to try to enlighten the customers,” said Ms. Borisova, an owner of Erotic Fantasy, a supplier of German-made intimate equipment in Russia. “No one knows what, why and how: what lubricant is, why a dildo is needed, how to use vaginal balls.” Other vendors at a recent convention for sex shop owners in Moscow were similarly vexed. Two decades after government-imposed prudishness ended with the Soviet collapse, Russians still shy away from embracing European-style sexual mores. Despite a burst of licentiousness in the early 1990s, when pornography and prostitution surged through the country, the sexual revolution has never really taken hold here. Sure, sexual innuendo is commonplace: on television and in glossy magazines and in the provocative attire of women on the streets. Advertisements with busty models have long replaced posters of square-jawed women scything wheat. But, when it comes to the bedroom, Ms. Borisova and others said, tastes here tend toward vanilla. “There is just no sexual culture, none,” said Nadezhda Dovgal, one of the organizers of the sex shop convention, called the X’Show. “People are still ashamed.” This is partly the legacy of the Soviet era, she said. The Soviet government tried to drive all talk of sex under the covers, leaving public life effectively neutered. A lack of private space, especially in the communal apartments of major cities, limited access to sexual encounters even more. “There is no sex in the U.S.S.R.” was a satirical slogan of the perestroika era. “We have always had sex, but information on this topic was practically nonexistent,” said Yelena Khanga, who hosted Russia’s first talk show about sex in the 1990s, coyly named “About That.” In general,” she said, “it was not acceptable to speak about sex.” She said that when she started her show, which for the first time openly confronted topics like H.I.V./AIDS, homosexuality and workplace sexual harassment, “it was like a bomb went off.” Though such topics are less provocative these days, the annual X-Show, which is in its ninth year, might still be a bit edgy, even if largely subdued by the standards of such events in the West. Beyond the caged strippers — and the coterie of men drooling over them — were models decked out in the latest latex fashions demonstrating proper whipping techniques. Ms. Dovgal, the X’Show organizer, framed the convention as a social welfare project for a country where sex education is practically nonexistent. “We know that we are needed to help people preserve their families,” she said. “It is not important for us whether your partner is a man or a woman,” she said. “What is important is that there is harmony in the relationship.” While Ms. Dovgal’s recipe for marital bliss might not be for everyone, it is clear that Russian families are in crisis. There were three divorces for every five marriages in 2008, according to the Russian statistics agency. Russia is also suffering from a demographic crisis. The population declined by 6.6 million people between 1993 and 2008, according to a 2008 United Nations report. Emigration and a high mortality rate among middle-aged men are part of the cause. But so is a low birthrate. To get couples copulating, some Russian officials have come up with several ideas that Ms. Dovgal and her sex shop colleagues would certainly endorse. For several years the government of the Ulyanovsk region has set aside a special birthing day, when couples are given a day off to help reverse the population decline. Prizes are given to mothers whose children are born on June 12, Russia’s national day. Yet, for all Ms. Dovgal’s concern for families (“Unfortunately, we are not allowed to admit people younger than 18 years old,” she said), demographics did not seem to be the main concern for many visitors at the X’Show. “I’m into fetish mostly — pretty clothes, corsets, leggings, collars, whips, things like that,” said Olga Podolskaya, 41, a psychologist. Though the exhibition lacked the extravagance of similar events she had attended in Berlin, she said things were improving. Earlier, she said “the products in sex shop were limited to plastic penises. “Now, along with an increase in selection, there are — how do I put it — various extra services: seminars, photo sessions, there are stories and various books.” Indeed, the outlook for Russia’s sex toy industry does not necessarily appear to be as grim as some vendors described. In the last 10 years the number of sex shops in Moscow has grown from around 5 to over 150, Ms. Dovgal said, and there are many more Internet-based companies. Sergei Agarkov, a prominent Russian sexologist, framed the change as sexual evolution rather than revolution. He said he believed that Russians were slowly growing more comfortable with sex as a new post-Soviet generation has come of age. “These are the carriers of a new culture,” Mr. Agarkov said. “They are completely different people. They are relatively free. They do not have the prejudices that their parents had. And together with them, attitudes towards sex are changing.” That seemed to be the attitude of Dmitri Karablin, a 20-year-old student, who along with his girlfriend was perusing the kiosks at the X’Show in search of vibrators and a sexy maid outfit. “People are less ashamed,” he said. “I have a young mother and can talk to her about these things. She even once recommended a store that I should go to.” High Heel Shoes You Can Wear To Events and Still Walk Home From Stillettos To Flat Corsets
Although companies such as Cole Haan and Kenneth Cole have comfort lines, Davis' is the first to feature built-in orthotics (developed with patent-pending technology) in a high-fashion shoe, particularly heels. Her styles, priced at about $275 to $450, are designed so that you can also easily put in your own orthotic if needed. "Previously, there was no dress shoe you could put an orthotic into, so this is a big step," says podiatric surgeon Dr. Robert K. Lee, who says his patients like to wear high-fashion shoes but can develop foot problems as a result. "Current styles tend to be far too narrow, which can lead to bunions, hammer toes or other foot conditions. As the heel gets higher, that's more load on the balls of your feet, which can lead to stress fractures or tendinitis." He notes that the distribution of weight is key to preventing injury. Davis' shoes create a tripod between the first and fifth metatarsals — the long bones of the foot — and the heel to displace weight. Her heels feature platforms and cushions, whereas most lines have a single sole. There is not a single skinny stiletto heel in the group. It's no surprise that Dana Davis shoes have ended up on the red carpet. Penelope Cruz, Sarah McLachlan, Carrie Ann Inaba and Anne Hathaway (who wore a pair when she danced across the stage with Hugh Jackman at 2009's Oscars) are all fans of the shoes. Vivica A. Fox wore them to this year's Academy Awards. "I love the Primrose; it's a very evocative shoe style," says celebrity stylist Elizabeth Stewart, of the soft knotted peep-toe in satin and patent leather. "They remind me of dancers backstage in ‘30s-era cabaret shoes and make me want to wear back-seamed stockings at all times." Many of Davis' customers don't realize that her shoes may have health benefits for the foot; they are simply attracted to the design. "There's such a negative connotation when you say the word ‘comfort,'" Davis notes. "I like to say that we are a fashion company that happens to be comfortable." Davis' inspiration came from her own experience as both a socialite (she's the youngest daughter of the late mogul Marvin Davis and philanthropist Nancy Davis) and working woman. Diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age 7, she became an elementary school teacher after getting a master's degree in education from USC. Long hours on her feet combined with diabetes-related foot problems led to eight corrective foot surgeries; she eventually had to stop teaching. "For 20 years, I destroyed my feet because I wanted to wear pretty shoes," Davis says. "I was supposed to wear these really unattractive shoes while still wearing a Chanel suit, and that just didn't work." Davis began to search for comfortable shoes that looked luxurious and chic but failed to find any she liked. Two years ago, she attended her first footwear trade show to start researching and networking. It took another year to find the right factories in Italy and to team up with podiatrists, pedorthists and foot and ankle surgeons to help engineer each style. "Once we get the shoes on a woman's feet, that's all it takes," says Davis, who regularly travels around the country for trunk shows and industry events. "When the woman realizes she's comfortable and stable, she feels stronger and more stately." In other words, the wobble is gone. Davis says that shoe salespeople are some of the biggest fans because they see what regular high-fashion shoes have done to women's feet over the years. "I was so terrified because you think, in fashion, people might be snobby or mean, but I have been fortunate to come across people who have really embraced me and been so supportive," Davis says. "I still get nervous, but I find that I have a classic sense of style with a little edge, and people are responding to it, so my confidence is growing. I can't imagine not doing this now; it's too fun." Some may wonder if this is just another fleeting business from a famous name. "You would never start a shoe line for fun," she says with a laugh. "If I knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn't have done it, but now I can't imagine doing anything else." The shoes range in price from about $260 to $450. Heidi Klum Fashion Plates Features Demi Moore, Amber Valleta and Lily Cole Fashion Dinner Extravaganza in West Hollywood
Guests, all decked out in Mouret's designs, enjoyed a catered dinner party in the hotel's dining car section. While the designer held court in the center of the table set for 27, he was flanked by Klum and stylist Rachel Zoe on either side. Before getting down to dinner, guests swilled champagne and cocktails. Then they feasted on a special meal designed just for them. Plates started with a salad of red oak and bibb lettuce with champagne shallot vinaigrette, as well as prosciutto and mozzarella. For the main course, there was thyme roasted chicken with white wine jus and salmon with a saffron aioli. And for dessert? A classic crème brûlée. According to an onlooker, Moore was beaming throughout the dinner – and she even let Zoe snap a photo of her with her iPhone, which she then showed off to party guests, cooing about how beautiful everyone looked. Victoria Becham To Star in Madagascar 3 Animated Box Office Hit To Start Filming Soon
The movie will follow main character, Alex the Lion (voiced by Ben Stiller) and pals (David Schwimmer, Chris Rock) as they travel through Europe in an attempt to make it home to their zoo in New York. Beckham’s character has yet to be revealed but it’s expected that she’ll be able to bring plenty of her own personality to the role. Madagascar 3 is still in early production stages, and is set to be released in the summer of 2012. Cutting It Right Like Becham Designer Victoria Becham
It is seen as yet more proof that Beckham, after just three collections, has reinvented herself as a real fashion player. If anything, she acts as an improbably successful advert. Stella McCartney, Brooke Shields and Dannii Minogue have been photographed wearing the distinctive Beckham dresses recently. Elle Macpherson loves hers so much she was pictured wearing them three days in a row. Beckham, who has happily conceded that she "can't draw" but "knows clothes" has been canny in her choice of fashion influences. "I don't want to make dresses that will date. I've always been about clever buying," Beckham said when she launched her label last year. Janet Jackson Set Interview With ABC's Robin Roberts First Interview Since Brother's Death
According to ABC, Janet is allowing cameras into her Malibu, Calif., home for the first time ever.Variety, which first reported the news, wrote that Janet is expected to talk about the loss of Michael, who died on June 25 as a result of acute Propofol intoxication. The interview will air on November 18 at 10 PM on ABC Michael Jackson's Ghost Came Alive in New York Thriller of an Event
"I think tonight is one of the best nights ever," said Angel Estrella, 38, from Bedford Park, in the Bronx, who was dressed as the Wizard of Oz's wicked witch of the West. "I don't think it's been this packed, despite the weather. We think that Ghost is Michael, it has to be Michael, he came to spend this one with us in New York. Several groups of up to 50 people performed dance routines from Michael Jackson's Thriller and Beat It videos in tribute to the King of Pop. Halloween enthusiasts walked the streets with fake blood dripping down their faces, or used the night to show off their assets by covering their naked bodies in paint. African Women Comments TTimes African Report
“Women are by nature nurturing and more cautious than men. Men are like hunters and their weapon or tool is physical. It is packaged outside. men think with their loins and it takes maturity for a man not to spill his seed all over the place.” She went on: ”our nation is backward because most of our leaders have many women. As a result, they have no time to be creative and push the nation forward. By the time they have met with their women, they are already worn out and can’t think straight. Our men think of lust and not love. It’s a sickness.” I see myself as privileged and blessed married to such a gentle, caring and intelligent man. It was a pleasure having had him. I always perceive him as a gift from God. I always called him my Angel Gabriel, sent by God to bless and give my life shape. My spouse invested in me knowledge and spiritual strength to carry on in life with great success.” What words of advice does she have for young couples? She stressed “No one goes to the university to learn about marriage. It is necessary to love each other genuinely. No one is perfect; you both grow together and go through the journey of life facing the ups and downs. Maturity is needed to weather the storm. Love conquers all things. marriage is exclusively about love, and when you love, you forgive. “If you love your spouse like yourself, you wouldn’t want to hurt him or her because you won’t like to be hurt. I will advise young wives to make their husbands their best friends. There was a great fear in me when I lost my spouse because he was my best friend. I was then thinking: who would understand me like he did? Who would accept me the way he did? “I used to write his letters for him because we were in concord. We thought alike. He was my friend and my soul mate.” Don’t forget that motherhood is not only about bearing children. It is about your natural instinct to care for those around you, your ability to bring smiles to the faces of those who need help and about being just available for those who genuinely desire help. In fact, let me say that I am lucky to be endowed with the kind of husband I have. I refer to him quite often as the engine room of my political success. He works hard to make me who I am today in politics and for that I have the leverage to go and touch the sky. He never says no to my upward movement in politics. Rather, he would sit back and chart the course once he knows the demands and political challenges that I face at a point in time. I have said times without number that I have been lucky to have him as my husband because he could have said no to my interest in politics like many husbands, but he did not. He is rather the architect of my current level in politics and I am grateful to God for that. What advice do you have for female politicians like you to succeed in their career? Simple! Make your husband your god. I am a firm believer in God, I owe everything that I have in life to him because my life is full of His grace. I am a very spiritual person, and from here I got the inspiration that a woman who makes her husband her second god would go places. My advice to the womenfolk going into active politics is to make their husbands the pillar of their success. I say this because I don’t know what I would have done without my husband. Chief (Mrs.) Grace Bent, Senator representing Adamawa South Senatorial District, and winner of Most outstanding Senator Award, in this interview with Idowu Samuel speaks on how she has been able to combine her career as a politician with the demands of home keeping. Excerpts: Ask the Ekiti State First Lady, Mrs. Olukemi Oni, A person who lacks a good home training can’t make a good home and will never train his or her children well. Can you describe your spouse? He’s Simon Gbade Adisa, my best friend, a very understanding man who encourages me a lot. He’s into marketing. My husband believes so much in me and sees to it that I forge ahead in life. He encouraged me to go for my Master’s programme. I have two master’s degrees. He is also painstaking and rarely displays anger. He taught me not to get moody or withdraw into my shell whenever we have a misunderstanding. Rather, he will always see to it that we talk things over. He’s my father and elder brother and cares a lot about me. What should a wife’s disposition to her in-laws be? You don’t withdraw your husband from his immediate family. Women like doing this. sometimes, they squeeze their faces or react in ways which show they want their in-laws out of their homes. This is wrong. To every man, his siblings and extended family members are important. I don’t have problem with my in-laws. What advice would you give your daughters while dating? My elder daughter is 18 years and she is very close to me. I make sure she discusses freely and also confides in me. I told her how to go about her life without jeopardising her future. She can have male friends but her relationship with them should be void of intimacy or affection which could lead to illicit act or the display of lust of the flesh. My mother would always tell me my education was the best legacy she could give me. She would always stress that a boy who takes you to bed will never marry you but rather boast to his friends that he has been there. I believe a girl should keep herself for her husband. How do you retain the spark in your relationship? Most women take things for granted. Some are in the habit of preparing the same dish for their husbands day in, day out. I always spice my dishes and like introducing something new.I will sometimes stop on my way home , buy fish and make my husband pepper soup. He loves this. Again, if you know what your husband likes, give it to him. My spouse loves fruits and vegetables. I bought him the first mango he ate this year. He was home for the weekend and I packed him some mangoes when returning.He called me while eating them on getting to Lagos. He said, ‘thank you , I am eating my first mangoes this year and they are from you’. He blessed me on the phone. I sometimes pack for him fried fish or chicken which he appreciates. Sexual relationship is also very important in a relationship. A woman should be forthcoming and not be frigid. No man likes a frigid woman in bed no matter the age. Since I belong to the literary world, I write for my husband poems expressing my love, appreciation and gratitude.This thrills him. Fashion king Saint Laurent dies Yves Saint Laurent, considered by many as the greatest fashion designer of the 20th Century, has died in Paris at the age of 71.
'I draw on woman' "I found my style through women," Saint Laurent once said. "That's where its strength and vitality comes from because I draw on the body of a woman."He changed forever what women wear, introducing trouser suits, safari jackets and sweaters, BBC arts correspondent Razia Iqbal notes.Saint Laurent was a great innovator, helping to revitalise haute couture while making ready-to-wear design popular.The editor of British Vogue, Alexandra Shulman, said he had helped democratise fashion:"Before that people had small salons for rich people."Saint Laurent brought it to the people."He was young and groovy. Pop stars were hanging out with him and younger generations related to him." 'Devastating' news President Sarkozy said the designer had been "the first to elevate haute couture to the rank of art and that gave him global influence". "Yves Saint Laurent infused his label with his creative genius, elegant and refined personality... because he was convinced that beauty was a necessary luxury for all men and all women," he added. Speaking on French radio, Pierre Berge said his former partner had empowered women. "In this sense he was a libertarian, an anarchist and he threw bombs at the legs of society," he said."That's how he transformed society and that's how he transformed women."Famous French embroiderer Francois Lesage, who worked 40 years with the designer, said he was "devastated" by news of his death. "I have never known a designer who would give so much thought to something when it was proposed to him," he told French TV."It is a great grief for me." Life of ill-health Born in the Algerian city of Oran at a time when the North African country was a French colony, he had a precocious talent. His first collection caused a sensation with its gently flared dresses and jackets that set the mould for 1950s fashion. Within three years, Dior had died and Yves St Laurent had taken his place. He took the world by storm with his trouser suits, highly coloured ethnic prints and designs inspired by the art world. Taunted as a schoolboy because of his homosexuality, Yves St Laurent suffered mental and physical ill health for much of his life and he appeared in public only rarely. The price of a rhino's life? $100,000 Big game hunting hasn't died out with fears for endangered species, it's just moved to private game reserves. Louis Theroux went to South Africa to try to understand the thrill of paying to kill an animal.
Where the strangeness of gambling and plastic surgery lies in the element of self-sabotage - throwing your own money away, making yourself look weird - hunting gives another turn to the screw by putting another sentient creature in harm's way - specifically, that zebra or lion whose pelt would look so nice turned into a pouffe for the front room. A lifelong city dweller, my ignorance about wildlife in general and hunting in particular was, at the outset, almost complete. For five or six years I was a vegetarian; I don't cook much meat at home and I still get a slightly weird "farmyard feeling" when I take sausages out of the packet and notice that they're all strung together. As for big game hunting, my ideas - formed by old films and books - were basically that you'd spend weeks tramping through rough country for a glimpse of a kudu, unleash hell with your shotgun, then retire to the tent for six or seven gin-and-tonics. And I had a notion that nowadays most of the big animals were endangered and therefore off limits - no-one actually still went out bagging rhinos and lions, did they? But almost any animal can be hunted - rhinos, lions, leopards, elephants, hippos, and many more - and far from being out in the "bundu", most of the hunting in South Africa takes place on privately owned game farms. The animals are behind fences. Menu of game They are wild in the sense that they may bite you; they are wild in the sense that they won't come when you whistle; but they are not wild in the "Born Free" sense. They all belong to someone. You don't have to tramp around for a glimpse of a kudu because the farmer who owns all the kudu can drive you to the corner of his property where they're usually seen. Most safari outfitters offer a menu of game that clients can choose from. It's like shopping from a catalogue. Looking down these lists is slightly surreal. Everything is on offer, including porcupine ($250 - is it possible people really hunt these?), warthog ($300), on through a multitude of indistinguishable deer-like species, up to the big ticket items: $8,000 for a hippo, $14,000 for a buffalo, between $25,000 and $35,000 for a male lion, and between $50,000 and $100,000 for a rhino. It was all quite weird, but I became intrigued by the element of pretence in what was being offered - the outfitters were selling an old-fashioned idea of man-against-nature while secretly working the scenery in the wings. There was a whiff of theme park about the whole thing. I also liked the paradoxical situation of the game farmers - that they keep their animals alive for years, leaving them feed in the dry season, piping in water - only to have tourists come in and whack their prize specimens from the back of a four-by-four. It was a bit like running a zoo where visitors could shoot the animals. Discount packages Not surprisingly, the industry has attracted its share of criticism, especially from the media. This made it tricky for us to get people to go on film. But after a lot of phone calls my team eventually won the trust of Riaan Vosloo, owner of Shingani Safaris, a company that operates in the north-west corner of the country, Limpopo Province. Riaan is in many ways typical of South African professional hunters and outfitters. He grew up hunting wild game the old fashioned way - he told me in the old days he'd be pleased to shoot one or two animals in a four-month season. Now he offers discount packages where visiting tourists can bag four trophies in six days. On one level, he probably regards the ersatz theme-park kind of hunting that he purveys to international clients as unchallenging and slightly pointless; at the same time he's proud of his ability to make sure every hunter, no matter his skill level, goes home with the trophies he's paid for. You might be morbidly obese and half-blind, you'll still get those record-breaking kudu horns - even if it means Riaan has to drive you up to the animal and point your gun in the right direction. During our filming, Riaan had a large party of bow-hunters from Ohio staying at his lodge. These were a far cry from the colonial-era image I had of the great white hunter. They were regular middle-class and working-class folk, some of whom had never been outside America before. Used to hunting deer they could at times be a little ignorant about the more exotic game. A trucker called Anthony was asked by his South African guide if he wanted to take a shot at a "duiker" (a small horned antelope). "A tiger? I can't afford that!" he said. Another novice hunter told me, in a moment of confusion, that her husband had killed a "zudu". Accidents happen But the Ohioans were knowledgeable where it counted: they were accurate with their arrows and they took pains to make their kills clean. Walking-and-stalking game with a bow and arrow is virtually impossible - you can't get close enough. So the bow hunters would sit in a blind most of the day, looking out on a watering hole, wait till their animal of choice came in for a drink, and then whack him. Nor was it as absurdly easy as one might think. All the game farms I saw were a minimum of a couple of thousand acres; they feel like wilderness, at least when you're in the middle of them, even if they are actually fenced in. Some days, because of wind carrying their scent towards the animals, nothing turned up at the watering holes. It wasn't as though they were being led into the firing line on a leash - it might take several days to pop that waterbuck or that oryx. But the outcome was never really in doubt. Naturally I'd been concerned about the nature of the deaths inflicted on the animals - how protracted and painful they might be. With a good shot through the heart or lungs, I was told, most animals will "bleed out" in a matter of seconds. And because with bow-hunting there are no loud gun-shots, the experience is apparently less stressful - both for the unlucky prey and for the surrounding wildlife. Natural predators And yet, and yet. Accidents happen, shots go astray. Miss the vitals and you're looking at tracking an animal that might take hours or even days to catch up with and put out of its misery. Not a nice way to go. Exactly why you might choose to take an animal's life for sport was a question I never completely got my head around - notwithstanding numerous approaches to the issue. Hunters talked about the challenge of pitting your wits against an animal in its natural habitat (well, kind of) and the rush of lining up a perfect shot. It may be that we're natural predators, genetically programmed deep in our inherited neuro-circuits to dig killing things. Or perhaps it's a question of hunters being raised in a culture that desensitises them to the well-being of animals. Who knows? The thornier conundrum for a squeamish city-dweller like me is that the practice of keeping animals on game farms and allowing them to be hunted has helped to increase the stocks of exotic wildlife. Simply put, hunters are paying for more and more exotic animals to be kept alive and healthy - which has to be a good thing. There are now more wild animals on private farms in South Africa than in the nature reserves. In the end, for me, the most touching and revealing element in the story was the bond that grows between the game farmers and the animals they raise and allow to be killed. Several of the game farmers seemed deeply ambivalent about the hunting that takes place on their properties and which pays their bills. Having got to know their animals, and grown fond of them, they actually don't like to see them get hurt. It's an axiom of the game farming world that farmers almost never hunt their own animals. On one or two occasions I was with game farmers whose animals had been injured but not killed, and they became visibly uneasy. It was oddly touching to see these grizzled South Africans grappling with their unease about the new incarnation of their sport and attempting, for the most part successfully, to stick to the script about giving clients the trophies they wanted. In the end, there may be no satisfactory answer to the urge to hunt. But the more profound lesson may be one about the nature of empathy - that no-one wants to hurt a creature that he's got to know. |
|
|
